Selling Yourself is not All About You
An interview tactic I learned many years ago from an employment agency works like a charm in networking situations: To get someone excited about you get them talking about themselves and their own accomplishments first.
When people feel good about themselves they are more likely to feel good about you as well. It is important to show that you respect and value someone by listening and asking the right questions.
When networking salt conversations with tidbits about yourself and your business but always end your self-pitch with a question directed to the person you are talking to. They will get excited about their own answers and associate that excitement with meeting you.
Networking Success Tips: Basic human nature demonstrates that if someone is interested in you, they suddenly become more interesting themselves. To be interesting you must first be interested!
Networking with Sincerity Counts
I am not suggesting that you make up questions just to sell yourself. I am, however, suggesting you learn the art of listening and asking questions so that you can build sincere, lasting relationships that are rewarding for both parties.
Do not treat clients, customers, and other business associates as “cash cows” and opportunities. Most people are good at recognizing “suck ups” and are offended by insincere interest, compliments, and gestures.
How to Ask the Right Questions
Asking questions is an art. Ask the wrong questions and you can easily offend someone. But the reverse is also true; asking the right questions can build trust by opening lines of safe communications.Keep questions positive and focused. For example, if Yolanda Winston tells you how hard it was to downsize and lay off employees, a good reply would show empathy and pose a question to redirect her thoughts:
- A Good Response: “That must have been hard for you given how much you care about your employees (empathetic listening). Do you think the economy will improve for business owners over the next quarter?” (Refocuses the conversation’s topic to the economy and away from the layoffs while indirectly letting Yolanda know that you attribute her downsizing to the economy and not her personal failure.)
- A Poor Response: “Don’t feel bad, a lot of businesses are laying off workers (when sharing personal struggles, few people like to be compared to others; it is dismissive). You’ll do better next year (disinterested; patronizing)."
Networking Success Tips: Ask a question that is on-topic whenever possible. If the topic is negative do not just suddenly change topics. This will make the speaker uncomfortable. Instead, give an empathetic reply to show support and then ask a question to redirect to something that is still related, but allows the speaker to respond with something a little more positive.
