Book Review: How We Lead Matters

If you read carefully, you will discover one of the secrets to Marilyn’s phenomenal business success: she does not view others as being limited by age, gender, or race. And, she never lets how others see her be a distraction from the goals in life she sets for herself.

This is sweetly evident in her surprise over the reason for being given a private office (because she was pregnant and had to be kept out of sight) and her response to the reaction of a young man in New York while she was roller blading.

Without bitterness, she reflects on winning her father’s approval, that came late in life, but finally did come, and the value of family, children, diversity, humility, and acceptance. She educates us about business (and life) through tender lessons learned from her husband, sister, children, and grandchildren, parents, even, her pet dog.

But the underlying message behind each page is eloquently and elegantly repeated over and over in recounting her life’s experiences: each day counts, even the bad ones, and because we are all leaders in some way, “How We Lead, Matters.”

She offers reassurance that dedication to work is not a bad thing if it is something we choose for ourselves; there are sacrifices, but there are pay-offs, too. She relates to and validates our entrepreneurial drive that can lead to the exclusion of other pursuits in life in this way:

“Personally, I liken being a CEO to being an Olympic athlete. In an exhaustingly grueling yet richly rewarded time when you’re at the top of your game. And I ask you, when was the last time you heard an Olympic athlete complain about work-life balance?”

To emphasize how life can teach us better ways to run our businesses, Marilyn charms readers with blouse-eating gerbils (a lesson in “towing the line”), a backyard barbecue with the KGB, and how a trip to visit the great temples in Angkor Wat led her to have Carlson become the first North-American-based global corporation to sign on a code of conduct for the travel industry that helps protect children from sexual exploitation in foreign countries.

An American Doll tea party with a granddaughter emphasizes the “importance of being intentional in teaching our children what we want society to value.” She helps us realize the value in seeing our abilities and accomplishments, not our limitations, as she is power roller blading through Central Park in New York. When a young man calls out, “You go, Grandma.” Her reply is simple, and telling: “Damn.”

Rather than sensationalize selected words from the speech in this review, I instead encourage you to read the book. A clipped quotation would be unfair and detract from the powerful words of Marilyn’s Juliet - words that deserve to be properly framed in the context only a mother has the right to present in her own book.

But the closing message beautifully and poetically brings home the entirety of this book in way that will have you smiling and crying at the same time and perhaps, even embracing the day you have been given today, just a little bit more.